Mmmm...me...

Know what I just realized? If I could develop a chocolate-scented cologne, I’d have the womenfolk all over me like white on rice. Don’t women love chocolate?  Isn’t that the stereotype? You don’t think a guy smelling like an “O-Henry” bar would draw the women like moths to a lightbulb?

What the heck is wrong with moths anyway, that they keep clamoring around light? They don’t clamor to the moon when there’s no light, do they? What do the moths way out in the woods do? Maybe when you die you actually become a moth, and that’s why people report being drawn to a bright light. There’s really no heaven, it’s just a GE soft-white 40-watt porch light that we all flap towards.



Note: I looked into it and moths apparently use the moon's light as a navigation aid, and since they don't know there's such a thing as a Sylvania candelabra bulb, they assume any light must be the moon.  But the moon is far away, and always in the sameish spot to them, while a light bulb is nearby; they can see it on their left, then their right, then their above, all within seconds.  They keep thinking it's the moon and that they must need to correct their position to it...which changes again a second later...requiring an adjustment...etc.  It confuses them and they end up flying in little circles around the light, bonking into it.  Bonk bonk.

That's fine.  But since the scientists who developed that idea aren't moths, and neither am I, I would hold that my theory is just as valid and feasible, so be nice to those annoying, spinning moths; you don't want to smash someone's grandma and ruin her eternal reward.  Well, you shouldn't want to.

(c) 2010 Scott Teel.  All rights reserved.