The Future Will C U L8TR

So The Library of Congress has announced it will be storing all Twitter tweets, going back to 2006's original tweet, "jack," for posterity.  The Library of Congress.  Feels the need.  To save every tweet twitted.  As a gift to the future of mankind.  The reason mankind hasn't come back in time to thank us isn't that they don't have time machines - they do - it's that they don't want to.

I know I'm not the only one who must see this as a ridiculous waste of time.  Why does the Library of Congress think humans in the future will want to see these things?

The library that holds the writings of 23 presidents, Jefferson's personal library, The Gutenberg Bible, the 1507 map that first labeled America, rough drafts of the Declaration of Independence, and uncountable other rare, precious, and important documents, which will now be joined by tweets such as, oh, say:

• "bored. wsh i hd a ps2. xbox sux"
• "on bus. tivo dwts so i can c beginin."
• "fk u i h8 u ur a ass"
• "jst saw seth green on st. short!"
• "eating a sandwich with ned."
• "thnk we shud c other peeple."
• "omg!!!!! poo on flr in subwy wtf!!! dens stped in it, lmfao!! hes nahc! so gross & funy lol!! gmab wwdt pshdd? ttyl byob!!!"

Tweets will be stored in Main Tweeting Room (formerly American Folklife Center)

Hopefully, people researching our era in the future will just give up after they read a couple billion.  As of today, 5 million tweets are sent out every day.  I hope the future can't understand why we'd want to save announcements that we're at the hair place or just trimmed our toenails, because that'll mean this fad passed and we realized we don't need to tell everyone exactly what we're doing every minute of the day.

It'll mean the future is wiser and understands life more, knows what's interesting and what's mind-numbingly boring, knows that this nonstop chatter about nothing isn't worth paying attention to.  Basically, if there's to be any hope for the future, they'll be just like me.

@SCOTT is sitting around waiting for a package and had some time to write a blog which is much more valuable than twi    *

*Address made up.  I have no Twitter account.

(c) 2010 Scott Teel.  All rights reserved.

On The Toilet

Potty humor isn't always about farts n' feces, as hilariously welcome as those topics are (see blogs below regarding dogs with gas and poo-covered cars - and probably several others I can't recall right now).

I once encountered a spatula on top of the toilet at a car-repair shop, the heavy kind of spatula you'd use with a barbecue, and never asked what it was there for, knowing that the answer would be nowhere near as entertaining as what I was already imagining.

Two weeks ago, I was at a local spiritual retreat center for the morning to hear a speaker, and when I snuck into the one-person bathroom halfway through, I noticed a sticky note on top of the toilet tank with the following handwritten on it: PLEASE GIGGLE THE HANDLE.

I don't know about anyone else, but that note alone was enough to make me giggle the handle before I left the bathroom.

(c) 2010 Scott Teel.  All rights reserved.